I honestly thought when I started this journey that I’d have these life changing epiphanies as I traveled from runner to marathoner.????I was??sure that I would end up being??a soulful person that people turn to for life advice.????You know that one friend who we??call our??Yoda; that person??we go to for advice when our lives are in complete turmoil.?? I was to become that person and all of my worldly knowledge was going to come from marathon training.
But 19 weeks later I am sad to say I am still not that person.?? In some regards I am more of the opposite person, I am the “put your big girl panties on and get out there” person.?? I have always been that person but now that attitude has been solidified with experience.
Through the summer I have had “those” days that anyone doing any long term training has.?? Times where I just didn’t feel like putting on my stupid sneakers one more time and talking myself through those first torturous miles. I would get so mentally burned out that I just couldn’t imagine for that day running another stupid run on the stupid road??in those stupid sneakers.??Some days??I hated my Garmin so much that it nearly ended up in the woods (true??story). ?? There were runs I??felt like I was??moving with bricks in my shoes and anger in my soul.?? None of these emotions are Yoda-like emotions but they were real.
The “suck it up” attitude I’ve developed over the years would soon kick in and I’d realize that doing what I was doing was a blessing.?? There are so many people who never get the chance to do what I was dreading that turning down this gift would be wrong.?? I’ve had many interactions over my life with people who have??passed long before we perceived??they should have; losing them has not been lost on me.?? All of our lives have an expiration date and who are we to deny ourselves getting every minute of life from the time we have given to us.?? So I’d give myself this pep talk, lace up my shoes and head out on a angry run, just because I’m grateful for what I can do doesn’t mean I’m not angry about it!
As I write this I am less than 4 days away from achieving something that only a small percentages of people in this world attempt.?? By the time this gets published, I’ll be a marathoner.?? Does this make me a different person??? Probably not, but it makes me the person I was meant to be.?? Just like Shrek, you need to discover me by peeling off the layers like an onion.