Ten Things I Hate About Running

First I suppose you need to know my street cred before putting together a list of things I hate about running, and judging both running as a sport, and other runners. Here goes…

I’ve been running for two years, ten or so half marathons, four marathons, several challenges…and I haven’t won a single one! In summation: I’m totally unqualified to judge.

So let’s get started!

  1. Everyone says they’re slow. Including ALL the people who are way faster than me. “That’s ok, I/we will run slower and stay together.” No you won’t. You’ll smoke me and leave me in the dust.
  2. Running capris. It has to be over 90 degrees F for me to wear shorts in public. So I tend to wear running capris. For you dudes out there, this is a cross between a short and a pant. Why do they have to be like pulling sausage casings over my tree-trunkish-type legs? You should see the contortions I have to maneuver to get them on.
  3. To quote a few of my running friends, and even more friends who don’t run: Running is stupid. You are correct! I’m not going to argue. We are clearly insane. Send help.
  4. Running selfies. (This one’s going to lose me some friends). When I’m done running, I’m a hot, sweaty, lobster-faced mess! I have actually been so red-faced, a guy asked me if I was ok. I don’t need a picture to commemorate that. But all of you who look awesome after you run: 1. I hate you, and 2. Right on. Please tell me you’re faking something about that awesome pic, though. Really bad pictures - one of the things I hate about running
  5. 5k’s… 3.1 miles. It’s a three mile sprint, and I’m not made for that. I’m the tortoise. I truly, madly, deeply feel that running sucks until about mile 5. It’s a shame that you have to run 5 miles to get to the good part.
  6. Race photos. I secretly think race photographers get a giggle at how bad they can make me look while I’m running. Because I don’t look THAT bad, right? People who look amazing in race photos is another one of the things I hate about running
  7. Runners who are younger than me (or older) and can get away with any of the following: not training, loping off looking like a gazelle at the start, turning to me at the 10k of a half marathon and yelling, “It’s my first 10k!” I’m looking at you, Casey.
  8. Race math, and math in general. Example: I’m trucking along at a decent clip during the Cowtown half marathon. I think I’m doing well, trying not to obsess over my Garmin. So I don’t look at it until the 10k mark. I’m thrilled when I see it! Because doubled, it means I’m looking at a PR! Except doubling 6.2 is only 12.4, nooooot 13.1 miles. And I don’t figure this out until a mile later. Because hey, running is hard and takes energy and brain power away from my clearly lackluster math skills.
  9. Gatorade. The only thing good about it is the Ted Striker drinking problem scenes from Airplane! I may have a drinking problem.
  10. Running on the surface of the sun. Summer running is the pits. But people tell me summer training is how you build your fall PR. See #3.

The list of things I hate about running is longer than this, but these are the most egregious. What do you hate most about running? Let me know in the comments below!

Carlye O'Brien

About Author:

In the real world Carlye is a technical writer, married to a much faster runner with two kids who can also outrun her. But she's good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it... some people like her. She has lived nearly everywhere; right now she lives in Texas.

2 thoughts on “Ten Things I Hate About Running

  1. Wow #1 and #3…spot on. I will admit I enjoy the post run selfie. Afterall it’s fun to gloat. Plus it gets other lazy friends off the couch. As for number 10, seriously… what kind of nut would tell you something like that? That dude must be smoking his lunch. Clearly this guy has no class using such a foul-four letter word like “TRAINING!” ;p

  2. First I fake everything from making people think I enjoy running to the selfie pics! Second running is stupid and my feet hurt and I’m not sure why we keep torturing ourselves except so we can hang out cause I love ya’ll! Can we find a new hobby already to bring us together?!

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