Hi happy, grumpy, shenaniganny runners!
Today’s article is going to be formatted as if I’m Dear Grumpy Abby. Because who wouldn’t want to be in charge of telling other people what to do?
I know my editor, Chris, loves telling people what to do.
“Carlye, you haven’t written an article this month… Yeah, I’m gonna need you to work this weekend.”
[Ed. note: “Mkay? That would be greaaaaaat.”]
“Carlye, you should really do more speed work…” (that one wasn’t Chris, that was the voice in my head). You know, the one that tells us we shouldn’t just sit on the couch watching back-to-back episodes of The Last Ship and telling the kids to do things in other rooms and leave us alone. We should go to the gym, or go for a run, or lift something heavy and then put it down again.
Are you out there running, run-walk-running, or walking? Do you wish you were, or do you just think you should be? Does it seem like EVERYONE you know is out there half marathoning, marathoning, triathloning with sharks in open water, and generally just doing too much?!
Let me, your friendly, snarky runner-writer comment on a few thoughts you may have on your mind.
Dear Grumpy Abby: I don’t feel like running.
There are people who feel like running, and I mostly hate them (see any Grumpy Cat meme). I “feel” like running maybe once every 6 months. But I still go. Maybe it’s jogging, or slogging, or walking. But I get out there and get some time logged on my feet.
If you never feel like getting out there, sign up for a race or two—a nice 5k, a 10k. Nothing works like fear as a motivator. I HAVE to go do something, because if I don’t, my race calendar might kill me.
Dear Grumpy Abby: I’d like to run with other people, but I’m too slow.
Bah! Banish this thought from your mind. There will always be someone faster than you. There will always be someone slower than you. And if you come in dead last in a race—guess what?! You ran the race. That’s better than all the people who gave up on their training, who didn’t get out of bed in time, who never signed up at all. You can. You will. Don’t quit. And, to my point, there will always be someone else your speed. That’s why races are so great—look for local races with big turnout, so there will be lots of other people of all shapes and sizes and SOMEONE will be running your speed.
Dear Grumpy Abby: I want to join a running team, but I’m not social.
Hah! Neither am I! I mostly don’t like people.
But you get out of it what you put into it. Don’t sit on the sidelines and “wish” you had friends to run races with. Get out there, put on your friendly face (hopefully you don’t have resting bitch face, like me), and make a friend. All it takes is one.
Just one person who might say, hey, let’s run this together.
When I ran my second marathon, before the race I was standing with members of my running team—probably 50 people, some I knew, some I didn’t. I said, “Hey, who can I run this with?” Team Shenanigans said, “You can run with us!” And they didn’t leave me. And they directed me to the bathrooms with the shortest lines. True story.
Maybe you don’t have anything interesting to say (right this minute). That’s ok, just talk shoes, watches, moisture wicking gear—runners can’t help themselves. “Wait! Did you say bandaids for nipples?! You know, this one time…”
Disclaimer: Some runs are for work, some are for play. Make sure you have both. If you need crazy people to run with, look for our green shirts. #TeamShenanigans.